It’s the middle of the night, hour who-knows-what in my labor with my son, and my dear midwife friend asks me what I feel. Fear. What does it look like? I see mist. What color? Green. But I can’t really get a handle on any of it. Somehow, in this place, amidst the pain and weakness, I feel in a fog, a place without goals or gods or motivation, where guidance, spiritual help, and clarity seem helplessly out of reach. Patiently and directly, my friend counsels me in how to move from this place of exhausted desperation into the pain of labor, accepting it, meeting it, letting it do what it is meant to do: Open. Transform. Change. Bring forth life.

We encounter labor processes in many forms throughout our lives: gateway events that make us (and the world) different from how we were before. For me, working with expecting and postpartum mothers and families is a way of attending to these times of transformation and initiation. Counseling and coaching can be integral processes that help us navigate these experiences—before, during, and afterward. Those few moments of counseling and observation from my friend were pivotal in helping me shift my entire labor experience into one that, despite further challenges, allowed me to feel labor’s gifts of empowerment and surrender.

Prenatal and postpartum groups can be nourishing, reassuring, and informative: a safe place to check in, talk about what’s really going on in your life, take an hour out of your busy days to see how you’re feeling—about being pregnant or about adjusting to life with a new baby. Especially if you experience prenatal or postpartum depression and anxiety, if you end up having a birth experience that is far different from what you expected, if you encounter surprises or disappointments, if your child has challenges or differences you did not anticipate, it can be essential to have counsel from an individual or group of understanding people who will listen unconditionally. We are in this adventure together of learning and discovering how to be more beautifully human.

If you are interested in the prenatal and postpartum groups starting up at The Nest, please contact me at danieladipiero@gmail.com or 510-388-4106.

Daniela Di Piero is a mother, coach/counselor (www.facebook.com/growinghomecounseling), director of the nonprofit Movimiento (www.movimagine.org), and is advanced certified in the Peterson Childbirth Method